Being a Father, to one 3-year-old boy (Aaron) can be a very daunting task to juggle some days, let alone, Father and Stepdad to a total of seven (7) amazing kids! Yes, you heard me correctly, this can be a scary responsibility at times, especially if you are new to the role of Fatherhood or Step/Adoptive-Fatherhood. Aaron, our 3-year-old and youngest of the 7, is a complete Daddy’s boy, and I love it because I genuinely enjoy spending time with him. To hear his voice call for me to pick him up, or to help him with some of the littlest tasks, warms my heart. But if I can be honest, that warm fuzzy feeling doesn’t happen in every moment.
I know we don’t like to admit it because it makes us feel like lousy parents, but the reality is there are moments where I have shifted my focus on other things, such as, work projects around the house or my job, and Aaron being a complete daddy’s boy, during those times, can be challenging to navigate. There are many times where I have found myself completely frustrated, as he called my name for the 100th time because he needed help again figuring out how to play one of the games on my phone.
These were just a few thoughts going on in my head.
1. I gave you the phone to occupy you while I worked.
2. I am not going to keep stopping to help you every 15 seconds.
3. Your mom doesn’t even like you playing on the phone, so just relax kid.
In my frustration, I said to him, “I can’t help you right now, you have to wait.” Leaving him confused regarding what to do next, frustrated, and honestly just sad, because in his mind it’s simple; Daddy knows all, and can do all! His feelings following my reaction led to him falling out and raising my voice or placing him in timeout only to feel a conviction in my heart afterward, as he says, “Daddy, daddy” for the 101st time.
“Yes, Aaron,” I replied.
“I just love you.”
Complete and utter heartbreak!
At that moment I closed my laptop and said, “Aaron come here man,” as I gave him a huge hug, “I love you too.” I began to ask him if he was sad because Daddy wasn’t listening when he was asking for help?
He said yes, so I apologized and talked with him about the importance of me listening to him and also the importance of him listening to me. At that moment something clicked in my mind, and I was able to shift my perspective from seeing my son’s actions as a hindrance to work that needed to get done, to simply his viewpoint of Daddy knows all and can do all!
You see as a Father, whether Biological Dad, Stepdad, or Adoptive/Foster-Dad, we have an assignment in our child(ren)’s life to help them identify and navigate the unknown, from how to play video games to understanding their feelings and how to express themselves in healthy ways.
We are the Leaders, Teachers, Protectors, and Providers to everyone under our care and it is our duty to cultivate the soil of our home in such a way that it can produce great fruit!
So for this Father’s Day I want to remind you of these four things:
1. You are an amazing Father
2. You have been given an assignment in the lives of your children.
3. Everything you need to be a “Great” Dad is already in you.
4. You are not the first, nor the last, Father to make a mistake. Own it, and be quick to apologize, children forgive quickly and learn from how they are led!
Remember, as Fathers; we were created to Lead, Love, Teach, Protect, and Provide. And our children have an innate knowledge of this, so this is why they run to us when they are scared (Protector), when they need help (Teacher), when they need guidance (Leader), when they need money (Provider), or when they need a Father’s comfort (Love).
I encourage you to print them out, write them down, or screen-shot them on your phone to look back on in those challenging moments.
Happy Father’s Day!
LET’S GET CONNECTED!
If we are not already connect via Facebook, Marco Polo, or the Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Call I encourage you to get plugged in TODAY! As Men many times we figure we can handle things on our own, and a lot of times we can, but as Husbands, Fathers, and Leaders I can honestly say we need community. The Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Call is a quarterly call that is held via phone where Men get plugged in to listen and converse regarding some of the challenges and triumphs on our journeys. I don’t have it all figured out and am still learning as I continue on my journey so I need other Men that are willing to pour into me as well!
So whether you need pouring into, or you are a reservoir to pour out of, we need you in our community!
or connect with Willie via email at firstname.lastname@example.org
The Next Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Calls for the year are as scheduled:
Wednesday, August 29, 2018 | 8 p.m. – 9 p.m. (EST)
Wednesday, November 14, 2018 | 8 p.m. – 9 p.m. (EST)
How to get on the call:
U.S. Dial-in Number: (515) 604-9922 | Access Code: 617369
Contact me directly for International Dial-in Numbers
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