How I Learned To Fight with My Spouse and WIN Every Time!

Photo by Darren Baker

Have you ever gotten into a disagreement with your spouse and by the end of the conversation you knew that you could have handled things better? And you walked away feeling defeated at times? As you continue to read I want to share with you How I Learned To Fight with My Spouse and WIN Every Time!

Deep down inside you know that the way you argued and the things you said didn’t please God at all. And to be honest, you were a little disappointed in yourself. I’ve been there, believe me, and have the t-shirt to prove it! When operating in our flesh and doing what feels good to our natural minds, we usually end up feeling icky inside. Sadly, we never realize this until the damage has already been done, but I need you to know that there is still hope. 

You just have to BE INTENTIONAL by learning how to fight the right way.

By no means am I an expert. I am currently learning this through trial and error and simply by following the Word of God. In Ephesians 6:12 we learn a critical principle. In this verse, we recognize that our enemy is never really the person standing right in front of us. It clearly states that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but instead against principalities, powers, and rulers of darkness. This verse alone takes our partners off the hook! I’m not saying that they aren’t responsible for the hurt and pain they’ve caused you. All I’m saying is that many times at that moment they are merely being influenced by the enemy to distract us, causing us not to recognize who we are really fighting. And if we’re honest with ourselves, we too can be used by the enemy through verbal attacks if we are not careful. The devil hates family and marriage and will use anyone, even your spouse to get to you to stumble or even fall. Once you realize this, you’ve conquered step one of the battle which is recognizing your enemy.

Knowing who your enemy is great! But using the right weapons are extremely essential. The two most powerful tools that you have in your arsenal are the Word of God and prayer. You can go to your Bible and look up almost anything that is coming against your marriage. There are scriptures that you need to have embedded in your spirit so that you can use that at any time to defeat the enemy. Life and death are in the power of your tongue. The more you speak what the Word of God says over your situation, the quicker your enemy is defeated, but there is a prerequisite!

With speaking His Word, you also have to BELIEVE! That is key to winning every fight!

Another key element to WINNING EVERY TIME is having conversations with the Lord about your marriage and other things that you are dealing with. His will for us is to pray without ceasing! But how often do we talk to Him about the things that are in our hearts? Sometimes we just pray in the moment or after an offense has occurred. I want to encourage you to be proactive and talk to Him continuously throughout the day. Early in the morning before your family wakes up, on the ride to work, during your lunch break, in the evening, and yes, even when He wakes you up in the middle of the night! There are 24 hours in a day. Take control of your time and begin to see how you will spend the majority of it in purpose, speaking, and acting how He desires you to. Time with our Father is vital! Getting Him and His Word involved in our interactions with our spouse, good or bad, is what I mean when I say BE INTENTIONAL, and watch Him move in a miraculous way. It’s time to stop simply fighting, and learn how to fight with your spouse and WIN EVERY TIME!