I remember the feeling of disappointment I felt after going to court for about the fifth time to handle custody issues for my children.

What was going on?

What was I doing wrong?

When I walked in there I had full custody but when I walked out, I had joint.

When I walked in I had all summers with my kids and when I walked out I had to split summers and had to pay for the travel.

What kind of victory was this?

I had prayed and asked God for exactly what I wanted the outcome to be, yet nothing was happening that way. What was the use in praying?

Is this what victory looks like?

All these thoughts and more became the essence of my conversation with God after several court hearings gone wrong. I was angry, hurt and disappointed. I absolutely did not understand this kind of victory. My ex may have felt victorious but I certainly didn’t. I knew going into these court hearings that some visitation arrangement was going to be made but I didn’t expect it to be at my expense.

Maybe God needed a reminder!

“Hi God, its Rachel here. Sorry to bother you but I think you may have gotten me and my ex a little confused and accidentally given the victory to the wrong person. It’s okay just hand that over here and we can go about our merry way”.

Yet, in my heart I knew it wasn’t that simple and it wasn’t a mistake. The feeling I had of losing a battle was exactly how God wanted me to feel.


Well, it’s just this simple, while I focused on victory in the battles, God was preparing victory for the war!

Im sure you are wondering, ‘whats the differance?’

Let me explain:

• A battle is a small part in a war and a war is made up of several battles.

• In a battle actual fighting takes place, while a war is more about strategy and planning.

• A battle is the real action in a war.

• The outcome of a battle DOES NOT decide the winner of a war.

• Battles are of smaller duration than wars.

When God revealed this to me, it was as if the months of court and uncertainty of the future began to make some sense. I began to realize that he was not leaving me hanging nor had he forgotten about me (Deuteronomy 31:8). He was only focused on the bigger picture. Winning the War.

As I consider the place of redemption God has me at now, I see God’s greater victory. He allowed me to learn how to endure, trust Him and wait for His promise. He taught me how to pray for my enemies and those who speak badly of me. He has defined and refined my purpose in Him. He knew that as I endured those frustrations I would be better equipped to encourage others of how to do the same. He also knew that despite the battles lost, I would still have the blessing of a wonderfully supportive husband and be the sole influencer in the lives of my children, and that to me is the true victory.

So take some time to consider how God may be setting up your victory through a seeming defeat?